Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Giving it up for God!

How many times do we say that we are going to give our lives over to God, only to let life get in the way. Something happens and we do what WE want to do, or WE don't like what GOD has in store for us, so we walk away in the opposite direction. Maybe we don't walk away from God entirely, but we turn away from what he really wants for us and we decide to walk our own paths.

I am only bringing this up because I've been there. I've listened to what God had to say and then decided for myself that it was just too hard, or too scary, or too bold for my lifestyle. Telling God that I thought he was wrong and that I just couldn't possibly do what he was asking. I'm not afraid to admit my mistakes, and I'm not afraid to talk about my past. Not anymore! God wants the best for us, and if something was bad for us, or wasn't worked into his plan, he wouldn't ask us to do it. I've never heard anyone say that they didn't listen to God because he asked them to jump off a bridge, or because he asked them to crash their car into a tree. You hear stories about how God just didn't understand. Growing up, I may have even said this. I was wrong. God doesn't try to harm us, he wants the best for us, and he's right there to pick us up if we fall. He's there to carry us when we are too weak. He's there to lean on when we need to rest. But most importantly, he's there to comfort us when we need him the most. He gave us his word that his plans are to prosper us and not to harm us.

I am ready to give it up. Not just my life, but everything I have. I'm not holding back anymore. Wherever he leads me, I am ready to go, no more excuses! I am his child and I will honor him in all I do. How much can you really hold back when you think about God giving his ONLY SON so that we could live. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, and I don't know what God has in store for me, but everything that I have is his. I've gotten to the point that I'm tired of people living two different lives. There are a lot of people out there that are all about themselves until church time on Sunday. It's like they sober their lives and as soon as service let's out, they are back in their own world. I don't want people to look at me on Sunday morning and say to each other, "Just wait until after service, watch what she does when she leaves here." I want to be real!

"Therefore if any man be in Christ,
he is a new creature:
old things have passed away,
behold, all things are become new."
2 Corinthians 5:17

Monday, January 26, 2009

small group, XCELR8, update on 2009

I really must say that I love my small group! I really look forward to it every other Monday. I just think that it is so cool that we are such a diverse group and yet we can be so open with each other and speak what's on our minds. Everyone has struggles in their lives and it's good to know that no one is perfect. We all struggle in different areas and because of that, we can all help each other in different aspects.

I'm really excited about the current series at New Pointe, they always know how to speak to my heart and share what God has to say on so many different areas. With FAITH being first and foremost, knowing who our faith is in and that we should still pray and ask God to meet our needs, but not to focus our trust in the stuff that we want. He provides in his timing and he knows exactly what we need. Then in FUN, how many times do our non-christian friends pull the fun card on us? Growing up friends would always say, "You go to church? You must not get to have any fun!" It instilled a belief at a young age in the kids because a lot of people go to churches that have old ways, and in a lot of aspects, church wasn't fun as a kid, that's another reason that I love New Pointe. It's fun to go to church, God is so real at New Pointe, so alive, and yet the atmosphere is always changing...wonder what will come this Sunday...

Just a small update on how 2009 is coming along. As you probably know I have lost 3 pounds since starting my diet. Still going at it, no matter who decides to jump on the temptation band wagon! I also said that I was going to work on getting out of debt in 2009. Mike got a raise and we are working together to pay the bills which has cut down on arguments and all is going well. It's a slow moving process, but we didn't get into the mess overnight either! I've been reading my Bible, still working on getting through it in a year, a got off to a slow start, but I am going to catch up and I am going to try my hardest to make it this year! Then for the BIG prayer of the year. Reaching out to single moms. I have been praying a lot about this and have felt led to expand this into more than single moms. I feel led to start volunteering in the Warehouse with the middle school and high school kids. I know what it's like to go through the rough patches in school and I feel inspired by the youth of America. I've also been praying about how to get involved with the single moms, where to start, and I am going to be contacting my old Sunday School teacher in the upcoming weeks to see what kind of things they need volunteers to do right now. The youth of our country make mistakes, and that youth is also in the churches, I believe that they need people to stand up and speak out about mistakes that they have made and have become stronger by learning from those things instead of acting like kids didn't do that kind of stuff when they were younger. There has always been sin out there...and there's no point trying to cover up the rough patches in our lives. God loves us no matter what, I'm sure he doesn't want us hiding our lives under a rock when it could be used as a learning tool for so many people around us! I really just want to be a light in this dark world, and I think that has to start by shedding some light on the darkness of our own lives. After all, we are human, we make mistakes, but that's not saying that we have to be stuck with those things for the rest of our lives.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Weigh in after first full week of dieting!

So I did good all week long and stuck to what I was going to eat...up until Saturday, I cheated and was really feeling guilty, but I over ate at dinner today too. So I was sure that I either maintained or gained, but when I got on the scale I was surprised to see that I had LOST 3 POUNDS!!!!!!



All the hard work has paid off and I'm very excited about it! With a loss of 3 pounds that puts me at 282...the countdown has begun and there is still a long way to go!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Hump day in the first week of dieting...

I think I have done pretty good this week. I have been taking my lunch to work instead of ordering out and I've been taking healthy meals with me. I have gotten back into eating yogurt which I love when I have it on hand, and I'm trying not to overeat when I'm at home. I have started eating at least some form of breakfast before I go to work and I did the excercise bike last night, I haven't found my Billy Banks Tae Bo DVD, but I think I might look into pilates, simply because I've done some before and since I haven't worked out in a long time, it might be the easier option to start with, I can always build back up to Tae Bo after a few weeks, or months, but I feel that it would be better to start off with a lower impact workout for now.

Anyway, I'm not weighing in today, I am going to wait until Sunday, so that it is a full week for results so that I won't feel bad if it's not anything yet.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

It's time to start that diet!

I hate to say it, but it is, everyone has been talking about their diets and how much they have lost so far this year...so curiosity tried to kill this fat cat!!!! What did I do you ask? I decided to hop on the scales and see where I stand. My eyes bulged out of my head as the scale went around to 285 pounds. I was at grandma's and her scale only goes up to 275, so at first I was confused to see I weighed 5 pounds, but then reality sank in and I was about to cry. It's not what others think that gets to me, and I know that God loves me no matter what, but I have been extremely unhealthy ever since Jocelyn was born. She is now 10 months old and I started thinking about her growing up. As it is I'm too tired to play with her when I get home from work and I rarely have any energy. I want to be the mom that has the energy to run around with her kids and play with them. I want to be that mom that sets up the coolest birthday parties (on a budget) and has the most time to spend with her kids. I want to be the mom that lives to be a great-grandmother, not the kind that dies of a heart attack before her firstborn even graduates high school because her arteries were completely clogged with junk! I had Jocelyn last March, and after I gave birth to her I was just 210 pounds. Now, that was heavier than I wanted to be but I had a very positive outlook on it, because I was going to lose that weight, but I lost focus and got lazy about it. It's to the point that I don't even enjoy shopping and I got mad at myself this weekend because I went to get some new work clothes and had to buy a bigger size than I've ever worn before. I want to be able to shop in the stores that everyone else does instead of feeling bad when a friend asks me if I want to go shopping and then I can't get anything at the store, and I know better than to even try it on.

I look for this diet to be a success, because I'm not doing just for me or for my husband, I'm doing this for my child. So that when she looks back on her mom, it isn't memories of a woman coming home from work, sitting on the couch, eating ho-hos and drinking a can of pop. Not that that's the picture I've painted now, but you get the idea.

Wish me luck, it's time to get serious!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Gazelle Intensity!

Last year we took Financial Peace University and were really positive on paying off some bills. However, life's distractions got in the way, we lost focus and things didn't go as planned. This year for 2009 I have dedicated my resolutions to gazelle intensity. I am getting serious about getting out of debt...no matter what life has to throw in the way! Do you know why I'm so sure that this is going to work? Because I have God on my side, and I am praying for some really BIG things this year!

First of all, getting out of debt! I am praying that God would help us pay off bills one step at a time and stay focused, but the BIG part is that I am praying for him to give us a miracle. I have asked him to make it possible to pay off hospital bills, credit cards and at least one car by the end of the year. I serve a mighty God and it's about time that I start acting like it!

Second of all, there is someone that I work with that is struggling in life. This person has had a really rough time in 2008 and is to the point of throwing the towel in on family and church! I have had the privilege of talking to this person throughout 2008 and ended up coming to a stand still around Christmas. I felt like I hit a brick wall, but I am not giving up. Why? Because God can do absolutely anything!!

Next, I am praying to become "nothing". Now, to a lot of people, this may not make sense, but the thought here comes from New Pointe. God created everything out of "nothing", and until I am really able to become "nothing", he doesn't have "everything" to create with! It's all or nothing in this world, and I don't want to be the person that people consider half-hearted, not that I care what people think of me anyway, I think I've made that quite clear over time!

Then, I plan to read the Bible all the way through this year, I've tried this many times, but I never get all the way within the time frame of a year, but this year is going to be different, because I'm praying BIG! I believe that there is always another aspect to pick up on and something new that God is trying to tell you, and I can never hear enough of God's promises.

Finally, I am praying to have the opportunity to get more involved with single mother's, I mentioned this one before. If only one "what if" had been different I could very well have been among this crowd, and they need to know that God is there, there is hope in tomorrow! Everyone sins, but there are some that can't be hid as easily...man I wish someone had been there to tell me this when I got pregnant out of wedlock!

I decided not to do the resolution to lose weight this year because I never follow thru with it and always let myself down. I do plan to lose weight, but I don't need to start the year off starving myself, only to crash and burn in a few months, so instead, I want to do it the right way, it's time to start watching what I'm eating and exercising more, but who wants to exercise in the snow anyway? So...I am going to start walking more when it gets warmer, but in the meantime I'm going to start taking all the extra steps at work that I try to put off until I have more than one reason to get up from my desk and go down the hall.

I just thought you guys might want to know about my BIG IDEAS for the year of 2009, and with God on my side, I can't lose, because even if I fall, he will be there to pick me back up, no matter how hard I fall or how badly I'm hurt. Isn't it great to know that we have a God who loves us, no matter what happens, or how bad we mess up. There was a time in my life that I thought I was just a ruined person, but God has shown me that there is a reason for everything in life, and I can shine as a brighter light in the darkness of the world because of those trials.

Thought of the day: Every trial has a tribulation...you just have to keep going, and trusting, and believing to get to it. Eventually you'll get there, and the results will be even BIGGER than anything that you could have imagined. Trust in God and let him be your guiding light...he's always there, and you'll always be stronger when you walk with him instead of against him!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

What If...?

Normally I'm not the kind of person to sit and think about the "what if"s of life. It just tends to lead to discontentment and makes us think about what could have been. However this morning's sermon Dwight gave on What If really got me thinking. His point is to get us to think BIG and go to God for something BIG that we are passionate about and not to give up on it. So, before I got to the BIG part I just started thinking about "what if". The past year and a half have been radical in my life.

1. I started working a lot more and was depressed that the church I grew up at was falling apart, there weren't many people there anymore and I hated the fact that everyone that I was knew and loved were pretty much gone...so I almost completely quit going to church and just blamed it on the fact that I worked midnights and needed to get some rest.

2. I met Mike and fell in love...because my family is very big in the church, I invited Him to go with me, he went willingly and saw it as another opportunity to spend time with me.

3. I got engaged to Mike...I was settling down and starting a new life...marriage was truly in my future and my dreams reached for the sky.

4. I got pregnant...my whole world was coming uprooted and I didn't know what to do. This was not a part of my plan and I had no idea what God could have in store with this circumstance. All I knew was that it was about a month until I turned 20, I wasn't ready for this, I was scared to death...most afraid of talking to my parents...I knew that this was not a part of their plan either.

5. I got married...planned the wedding in a month. It was a very stressful month, but we pulled it off, had a beautiful outdoor wedding, I wore my dress from senior homecoming, Pretty in Pink is the title that sums up my wedding pictures. I was sick and exhausted with the pregnancy and we pretty much quit going to church, I just wasn't up to it, and I was kind of trying to hide from God.

6. Jocelyn was born...it was the happiest moment of my life next to my wedding day, and the start of something completely new. We were living in our upstairs apartment and I had to have an emergency C-section...more fear... so when we came home we lived with my grandma in her ranch home for a few weeks. I kept putting of the date to go home because I really enjoyed being with grandma, especially since I wasn't working, it was nice to have her to talk to and share my time with. She encouraged us to go to church the week after Jocelyn came home, but I still wasn't happy there...we were the only young couple, not to mention the only couple with a baby...but where else could we go?

7. Easter Sunday...we went to Mike's sister's house after dinner at grandma's, she and her family had just started going to New Pointe a few weeks prior and when I shared how discouraged we were at the church I grew up in, she shared a bulletin with us and told us how amazing this church was. We went the next week and I wasn't sure, but Dwight greeted us in the foyer before service. We went back the next week...Dwight greeted us again, but I still wasn't sure, I just didn't think that this church could ever feel like home, but that week was First Wednesday so I told Mike that we would give Wednesday a shot, but I really just wasn't sure about this. Wednesday I knew there would be fewer people and I said I would see how it went. I was moved to tears that night, I can't tell you exactly what that night's topic was, but I was amazed at the way God moved at this church, but I still said I didn't think it would ever be as personal as the church I grew up in. That night as we were leaving service, Dwight met us on our way out, shook our hands and told us that he was really glad to see us there that night. It just hit me all at once that this was like home already, it was so welcoming, I had just been resistant because it was different. I'm so happy that we found New Pointe.

So WHAT IF I hadn't started dating Mike and come back to church? WHAT IF I had gotten pregnant before I got engaged? WHAT IF I had made different decisions after I found out I was pregnant? WHAT IF there had been different complications with the pregnancy? WHAT IF something had happened to Jocelyn and we never got to hold her in our arms? WHAT IF I didn't have a husband at all and I was left to raise a baby by myself?

There are a million what ifs out there, but when it all comes down to it, I could have ended up a single mother at the age of 20...I could be lost, not knowing where I would go if something happened to me, out in the streets, just hoping to survive the night. I could be living a completely different lifestyle that isn't fulfilling in the least... but I don't.

My BIG thought and prayer for 2009 is for God to give me the single mother's of the area...whether it's just putting care packages together...or being a mentor...or just being a friend...the possibilities are endless with God and I want Him to work through me. The new year's resolutions are the norm...lose weight, get out of debt...but it's time to step out of the box and do something worthwhile! In 2009 we WILL get out of debt...and we WILL pray for BIG things...may the Lord use us in ways that we have never imagined before. May I move a mountain with God's help.

Lord, give me the single mother's, let me be a light in this world to lead them to you, because whether they had a rough beginning as a mother, or they are already years into it, you love them, and it's time someone showed them that kind of love coming from a person they don't even know.