Cousins

Mike's sister has a son just six months younger than Jocelyn. I never thought he was all that big until he was next to little Jocelyn. It's hard to believe that she's going to get that big that quick. It's so much fun to watch her grow from day to day and she's always changing. I love being a mom and I don't regret that one bit. My daughter is the perfect little girl and I love her more than I ever thought possible. I didn't really have that much to say today, just like this picture and thought I'd write a little to go with it.

Smiles!

So what about smiles?

Well, back when I was in college, I used to love taking and being in pictures. I think it was mostly because I was happy with myself, and I was comfortable with my body. Not that it was perfect, but I had made progress from where I had been before that. Here, I'll show you some of my favorites:

So, what am I getting at, right? I am married, I have a daughter, why would I not be happy? And besides that I weigh less now than before I got pregnant, so why would I be upset? Of course there are areas that could be a little tighter and a little more fit, ok a lot more fit...but for the most part I don't smile like I used to. I love the way I used to smile and jump in pictures without even caring, but it doesn't work that way anymore.

A part of me looks at my daughter and knows that I need to get in shape, not for just myself, but for my daughter. It's not like I'm extremely overweight, but I am overweight none the less. So this is my goal, not for myself, but also for my daughter. I am going to get in shape, back to the point that I am willing to be in pictures and I don't think twice about what I look like. I want that girly side back, and if I'm going to have an office position for good, then I NEED my girly side back. That side of me that enjoyed dressing up and looking good. The side of me that actually cared about the person I was protraying.

I'm not beating myself up over this, just stating what's on my mind. None of those fad diets, and no gym membership. I'm not going to rely on things in order to get myself in shape. Eating healthy and having a workout routine that I do daily. Even if it's just going for a walk, exercise is important and I know that. I want to be back to the place that I was when I felt good about myself and my body. So if anyone wants to join in my efforts, then I would be glad to welcome you. I know I can do it, and I know that it will be work, but I'm ready. I never want to have to tell my child that I just don't have the energy to run around with her because of my weight or my health. So here it goes...to think, this all came about because I started thinking about my smile?

The first post!

So I guess I should start off with a little something about me, but what?

...thinking...

I'm a new mom, and I'm sure that will come up quite a bit because when I say "new mom" I mean, my daughter isn't even a month old yet, actually she isn't even three weeks old until tomorrow. She's the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen, and it's only since her birth that I have come to understand what my mother meant all those times she would say, "When you have kids, you'll understand." I'm completely amazed by how fast she has changed over the last couple weeks and there aren't enough words in the world to describe the love I have for her. I'm sure that someday I'll have to tell her that she'll understand when she has kids of her own, and just like every other daughter in the world, she'll roll her eyes at me and say, "okay" as she trudges off to her room. All the things that used to drive me crazy about my mother suddenly come back to me...like spit baths, how many times did I say I would never do that to MY children? Yea, well, I've already licked my finger to get formula off of her face...more than once. How about the times when I didn't get what I wanted, and I would say, "When I have kids, they will get whatever they want, because I'm not going to be a mean mom!" However I know that I'm going to be called the "mean mom" at some point simply because I wouldn't buy the hottest toy, or wouldn't let her go out with her friends, just because I didn't know who they were. As I walked through Target the other day, I realized that the mother's day cards are out and so I stopped to look at them. I was looking for a card for my mom, which used to be an easy task:

1. Grab a card, preferably a cheap one after dad stopped buying them for us
   
2. Write a little I love you inside
3. Sign name below that
4. Seal envelope
5. Give to mom

However, this year, I actually read the cards that I picked up, and instead of look for the comical ones, I was looking for a card that truly says how much my mom means to me. Would it completely shock you to hear that not one single card said what my mom truly means? I mean, I'm probably going to have to make a card, and it's worth it, because my mom is worth the time and effort that I will have to put in it as I try to put everything she means to me into words. It isn't going to be easy, and it's not that becoming a mom made it all clear, but it definitely showed me the other side of the table.

Don't worry, you don't have to run out and buy a card right this minute, mother's day isn't until May 11th, but maybe you should start thinking about what your mom means to you.